Thankful

It's a cold rainy morning, Sienna just went down for her morning nap and I'm sitting here with my warm cup of coffee, listening to Christmas music. We put some gifts under the tree this past weekend and it finally feels like December. It has been a wonderful morning, quiet and calm. Sienna woke up in such a happy mood, all smiles and lots of hugs and kisses for Mama. I'm sitting in the glow of the Christmas tree staring at my baby girl sleeping, feeling so thankful. Thankful, for my life and what it has now become. I have always been a "planner", but every now and then the Big Man upstairs reminds me that he knows best and that he holds the master plan for me.

With a newborn baby and Christmas fast approaching, being laid off from my job was definitely NOT part of my "plan". Yep, bummer, huh? I got the news over the phone. After learning I no longer had a job to go back to, I walked over to Isaac, but I couldn't say anything. Nothing came out, only tears. Without saying anything, Isaac knew what had happened. It felt like my heart was in my throat, I could barely swallow. I hadn't had that feeling since I was a little girl. So many thoughts were running through my mind at once, I didn't know what to say. I worked for my company for six years and genuinely loved my job and the people I worked with. What now? This was not in my plan.

After letting the news sink in for a couple days, I had time to pray about it. Looking at the pros and cons of the situation, thinking more clearly, I started to feel a little better. Thankfully, my husband always knows how to keep my head level when things don't go as I have planned... and life happens. I can not always be in control, but that's where faith comes in. Sometimes it's hard to have faith that the road you are going down is intended for you and that you are being guided in the right direction. As hard as it may be, that is the only option I have right now. Feeling so vulnerable, I am trusting that the Lord is taking the wheel and steering me to where I need to be.

This is all so bitter sweet. Bitter, because I no longer have the security of my job (and paycheck) and I will really miss the people I have spent so much time with for the last six years. Sweet, because I now have a new world of possibilities as a mother. I was granted more time with my new daughter and that is priceless. To tell you the truth, I was not ready to go back to work, but was willing to for the sake of our family, it was the "plan" that we made. Well, onto the new plan. I am changing gears and figuring things out, keeping faith every step of the way.

Never did I think that I would be a "Stay-at-home-Mom". But here I am, at home. For how long? Who knows? I'm keeping my eyes open for the answers, enjoying every moment with my sweet girl. I feel so blessed for the opportunity to spend this time with her, she's growing so fast and I can never get these moments back.

I am always thankful, because when things don't go my way, I know it's because there is something much better in store for me.